30 August 2012
Nearly two weeks ago, my current roommate who was then the future roommate, flew to California in order to drive back to Colorado with me, for school. Shortly after returning, her mom passed away, expectedly. It was breast cancer that took her life.
However, before she passed away, my roommate left me to spend her mother’s last two days with her.
I was all alone. Stuck. In an apartment that I did not call home.
After a year of freedom, traveling as I please, I couldn’t just stop with nothing to do. I left for Seattle that next morning.
In a town called Anacortes, about 2 hours north of the windy city, I stayed with a dear friend and her parents. While there, her father who is paid for assuming the value of a plot of forest debated with me about clear-cuts and deforestation. Although he does not always like the way a clear-cut looks, he did defend his work by this very next point: for every tree the company cuts down, they plant 5 more.
The circle of life.
With every death in the jungle, a predator is given new energy to continue on its’ rule in the wild.
While I was listening to this father speak of his job, my roommate was saying her goodbye. However, she never did just that.
Instead, her Christian brother joined her in jokes and giggles, and she speaks of this time as the most joyful blessing she has received thus far. The family did not even desire to write on the tomb stone, as they understand that the body is separate from the soul after death on earth.
In reality, her mother’s passing has not yet taken a negative toll on her life, even with the new school year just beginning.
In reflection, it pains us to see our loved ones suffer spiritually more than physically. With physical pain, there are cures: a doctor, medicine, or in worst cases, death. But with death comes new life in Heaven. However, with spiritual suffering, we must question if the relationship will last eternity or not. A different sense of loss.
With a physical death, we are reborn, entering the Kingdom anew in the pure image of Christ. There is nothing more sacred.
Yet, there is also the debate of suicide.
Last night it occurred to me, the desire someone may have to leave this broken world and be wholly in the presence of the Mighty God, loving and kind. If Nick (lets say) was struggling through addiction, got kicked out of his house, and when clean had no family or friends to support him in his new journey, how would he continue on the right path? Of course I am assuming this Nick fellow did all this for the Kingdom of God. But when we are left alone, without a family, struggling, feeling lifeless, and weak, we are most dependent on God’s commands. However, if Nick were not able to see, hear, or feel God’s presence here with him on earth, and chose to meet God at His Home…
would it still be an act of selfishness, paining those left here on earth? If Nick had absolutely no contacts, he had no influence here on earth, and would not cause pain.
Although I do consider this testimony through and through, I do hold to the Scriptures and statistics. If one person commits suicide, two more are likely to follow.
All Nick wants to do though is know God. Nick wants to feel loved.
With Nick’s death, is he given new life?
(Just a side note, I am a psychology student passionate about serving families, broken through divorce, suicide, prostitution, homosexuality, etc. I am not considering these myself, just beginning a deeper level of research for application in future practice. I am most open to any of your concerns or perspectives.)
Ryan Hartwig, a former communications professor at Colorado Christian University once said, “When God is done using you, He will kill you…there is no retirement in Christianity”
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gratifying adventure 