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Posts Tagged ‘wholeness’

Yesterday I sat in a group of empathic counselors, shared briefly of my seemingly incohesive self, was reminded that nerve endings regrow and then…an image.  My brain works best when memories are formed around images these days.

“Nerve endings grow back”, she said.  “Well…so do lizard tails,” I thought.  In all seriousness, though, God created a creature that we know as a reptile that although damaged, will once again be whole.  Right now, I’m a lizard.  I’m awaiting my brain functioning to rise, the dopamine from stress to decrease, and for life to make sense once more.  Well, that latter part I know will never truly happen on this side of heaven, but the point remains.

In these last 30 hours, I keep reminding myself, “I’m a lizard. My tail will grow back.  My brain will function once more.”

And then, in a moment of needed pause, I found myself worshipping out under the sunlight and there beneath my skirt was this: lizard-carcus

I thought little of it besides the coincidence of a lizard appearing without full life–dead rather than without a tail, but a lizard nonetheless. My husband saw differently and replied:

“you definitely don’t look like that. i’m certain the enemy is messing with you after you find some sweet resolve in that idea. you’re mocked for it. i hate that. you will get your tail back! you are a new creation! the old has gone, the new has come! || 2 corinthians 5:17”

That’s just like him! That stupid enemy, deceiving and mocking me, just as he does best.

So although I’m missing my tail, I have life, and the life I have is in Christ.

If you’re feeling like part of you is deception or malfunctioning right now, I’m with you, but still, there’s hope.  Even more than hope for the future, there are promises of the present nearness and tenderness or a merciful and powerful God.  So, let us sing:

“Holy Ghost,

Won’t You come closer to me?

Holy Ghost,

Won’t You come closer to me?

Holy Ghost,

Kiss my eyes, I want to see.


I’m in need of Your help,

In need of Your hand.

In need of Your love,

Father.

 …

Holy Ghost,

Won’t You come closer to me?

Holy Ghost,

Kiss my heart, I want to see

I really want to see

The way that You see.

Come closer to me.”

– Melissa Helser, “Come close”

 

Holy Ghost, I want to see my whole self as You see me. As You see Yourself in me. Amen.

 

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